Funny Stuff

However Religitards will not see it as funny. Why? No understanding of reality as it truly is.

Thus, no sense of humor.

Most Unfortunate

Once when we were checking out from a store, me wife did not want to break $20 for change. She asked me, “Sweetheart, do you have any change? I don’t want to break a $20.” I slapped me pockets. No coins. “Sorry. I have no cents.” Wife replied, “I already know that. But, I asked if you had any change.”

A perfect example of “think before speaking”. The wording was perfect, but the homonymic meaning was incorrect. However, funny as 7734.

The List of Poopoos

This intially started as a textfile on a BBS’s Humor Page. Me daughters got hold of it, printed it, and hung it in their bathroom, checking off each as they had them. Although numbered, not in any particular order as they get dug up from memory. Have fun remembering the ones that have happened to you…

The 5-Alarm Poopoo: This is the poopoo that feels like you are getting a new arsehole burnt-in. Burns like a five-alarm fire. Sometimes, the smell has been known to burn nostril hairs…
The OMG! Poopoo: This is the poopoo that smells so badly, you swear you are violating Geneva Conventions. Where is that Febreeze…
The If-Only-I-Could-Poopoo Poopoo: This is the poopoo that refuses to come out. Many have been known to pop a vein in their forehead trying to force one these out. Try some Ex-Lax…
The Hershey Squirts Poopoo: This is the poopoo every one has sooner or later. This is the Runs. Get the Pepto…
The Splatter Blast Poopoo: This is the poopoo similar to the Hershey Squirts. However, there is also the rapid-fire, machine-gun style fart that just utterly blows away the toilet bowl like a 50-Cal. During clean-up, you may even notice it splattered underneath the toilet seat. What about your butt…
The Hang-In-There-Baby Poopoo: This is the poopoo that leaves a piece hanging on one those hairs. No matter how you wiggle, bump, shake, that piece just will not fall off. You have to grab it with a piece of tissue. Yuck! And it is always so squishy…
The Spinal Tap Poopoo: This is the poopoo that stretches that anus so badly, so painfully, you would swear the turd is coming out sideways.
The Surprise! Poopoo: This is the poopoo where you swear you just have to fart. SURPRISE! It is a poopoo.
The Corn Poopoo: Self-explanatory.
The Corn Cob Poopoo: Sand paper ain’t got nothing on this baby… Wire brush maybe…
The Ghost Poopoo: This is the poopoo you feel coming out, 7734 it may even splash your butt, but if you look, where is the poopoo?
The Lincoln Log Poopoo: This is the poopoo that is so long and so big, you swear you gotta break it into many pieces just to flush.
The Acid Poopoo: Need I explain?
The Never-Ending Wiper Poopoo: This is the poopoo where everytime you wipe, there seems to be even more wiping needed. It goes on and on and… Eventually, you will get it cleaned.
The Poopoo: This is the poopoo
The Poopoo: This is the poopoo
The Poopoo: This is the poopoo

Still incomplete. Sorry. List was at least 25.

Religitards will hate this one…

I am one who has never balked at me children seeing ne nude. Why is this so heinous to the Religitards?

Anyway. One of me daughters came looking for me at me wife’s request. She caught me peeing. She simply looked into the toilet watching intently. ????? When I finished, she took off to the kitchen where me wife was. I hurriedly followed and heard her tell me wife, “Mommy. Mommy. Daddy makes lots of bubbles when he pees.”

Need I describe how I literally went ROFLMAOWF?

— The Unknown Atheist

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